My needs

I know my ex wanted me to change my ways:

Dress better, wear makeup more often
Cook more for him
Pay more attention to him and express my love for him verbally more often

But I need him to make changes too:

I need him to make me feel important. Buy my flowers 'just because'. Be nice to my parents. If my mom's b-day is coming up..get her something, I shouldn't have to tell him to do that.

When something is happening in my life..a major or serious issue even if I tell him he doesn't have to travel to be with me. Do it anyway. Just to show your support and your love for me. Let me know that you would do anything to be with me.

If I yell at you because I am stressed out, suck it up and know that I would do the same for you(and I have done the same). Pick up the phone when I need you and you know that I need you because you know something serious has happened.

And I need to know I can trust him. That he won't dump me the day before our anniversary and tell me he is on the fence. That was so cruel and unnecessary. I do not think he realizes how much that hurt me. He doesn't understand how much hurt I am feeling by that one action and how much I do not trust what he says now. How do I know he won't pull this on me again, maybe next time on my b-day? I can't just depend on his words anymore, I would need him to somehow show me that I can trust him again.

He makes me feel like I need to change because I am not good enough for him. He feels I am not the person he wants to spend the rest of his life with and I am not worthy of his love.

I am willing to change some aspects of myself but is he willing? Will he change too? I doubt it because the breakup was only concerning his doubts and concerns. So, I need to get over him because I need to value my concerns and doubts. I AM NOT A DOORMAT. Yes, I am willing to change but I can not only be concerned about what he is looking for, I need to be concerned about me too.

He made me feel like everything was my fault. Maybe one day I will come to the conclusion that someone else will be concern with my needs and love me for who I am not who they want me to become. I hope one day I will realize that I am not a failure and someone will recognize that and love me for my good points and my faults. I need to get it into my head that I will not be alone for the rest of my life.

I need to keep telling myself he wasn't good enough for ME because he didn't care about my needs.